Its' been a while......

We have done so much lately and I have so much to catch up on! We had a great trip to STORY LAND, the kids had so much fun but I will get to that later. My post tonight is about Kyle. My first born turned 4 on September 27 at 8:08am. Kyle's birthday has always been bittersweet for me. You see, Kyle was born 3 months early, 28 weeks into my pregnancy. He was supposed to be a Christmas baby but never made it that far. I have alot of issues with Kyle's early arrival. My body was the one that failed, not Kyle yet he had to pay the price for my body's failure. At 27 weeks I developed Pre-eclampsia. I wasn't feeling well so I went for my 28 week check up a day early. I was sent to Labor and Delivery for an Non Stress Test and monitoring my BP at that point was 185/99. In the space of 20 minutes I was drugged beyond belief and put in an Ambulance for the 40 min ride into the city where I was told that most likely my baby would be delivered TODAY. LUCKILY I was at a really good hospital and was able to hold out until I hit 28weeks and 4 days, most importantly I was able to get BOTH doses of those oh-so-important steroids. The night things went downhill really fast, Joe had come into the Hospital after work and asked what I wanted for dinner--We were is the heart of China Town so I said "When in Rome" He found a Chinese place down the street (They only spoke Chinese LOL). He got back and not 2 bites in I started shaking and feeling horrible. I was quickly moved BACK to labor and Delivery to be monitored my BP was 200/112. My Kidneys and liver were shutting down and Kyle was not tolerating it well. That night they told me that Kyle would be delivered first thing in the morning and that I would have to have a C-section because he was transverse (sideways) I remember the Doctor (a woman) coming in at some point in the early morning with consent papers, (basically signing my life away)I was so scared and drugged out of my mind that she climbed into bed with me and just held me while I cried. Joe called my parents to let them know what was happening so they made it to the hospital as I was being wheeled into the OR (BP at delivery was 212/120). Kyle was born at 8:08am on a rainy Saturday morning. I remember hearing this tiny little cry. Then the NICU nurses telling him to stop peeing on her :) He weighed 1lb 14.8oz and was 14 inches long (Just to get the idea--the first picture of him is with a beanie baby). I got a quick glimpse of him as they rushed him off to the NICU OH Yeah, his Apgars were 9 and 9 they wanted to score him less but just couldn't). After that I don't remember much. I finally got to see him 24 hrs after he was born (my first thought was "Holy S**t I gave birth to a baby monkey" He was COVERED with hair! Kyle stayed in the NICU for a LONG 93 days and came home 2 weeks after his due date. Looking back his NICU stay was pretty uneventful, living it was another story. Fast Forward to today: Most people say "You would never know...." But they don't see the battle scars that I do. The tiny white "dots" on his hands and heels from countless pin pricks and IV's, the scar on the inside of his leg from his PICC line. The little wheeze of CLD (Chronic Lung Disease) when he exerts himself and the way he uses his upper body to compensate for for weaker core muscles. They don't see slightly smaller stature (39 inches and 32 lbs) or the look on his face when he can't accomplish things his peers can. Don't get me wrong I am SO PROUD of my son and all he has accomplished. He is so sweet and lovng, not to mention he has a GREAT sense of humor. He knows what his scars are and what they mean. I also know how lucky we were and how bad things could have been. We recently went back to the NICU, I got the same knot in my stomach walking down that long hallway that I did 4 yrs ago. I can't look through the doors beyond reception to the warming tables and incubators because I would be transported back to a place where I would never want to be again. My heart breaks for the parents and grandparents looking so lost in the waiting room. We met the Head Neonatolgist in the Hallway.He was BLOWN AWAY by how well Kyle is doing. Kyle and I have such a special relationship--we went through a lot together and I'm not entirely sure that I'm the only one that remembers it.

We had a great Birthday Party with Kyle's friends here at home. Kyle wanted a Drag Racing Party (can you tell he's his fathers son?)so all of his friends brought their bicycles over and raced around the driveway. I made a "drag strip" cake complete with race cars. It was such a fun day for him. Every year gets a bit easier but I don't think I will ever completely be "over it" But MAN I LOVE THIS KID! :)
HAPPY BIRTHDAY MY SWEET BOY!